Eco-burials: burying our dead, uniting our families, preserving our open space

I met some months ago Nigel Lowthrop, a British social entrepreneur, who started Hill Holt Wood with his wife.  It’s a fascinating story.  Hill Holt Wood is basically a way to make sure that environmental land in England can sustain itself; They bought beautiful rural land in Lincolnshire, and then developed on the site a school that helps turn around kids at risk.  It both keeps kids-at-risk from falling through the educational system, and also financed the 34 acre woods that they have now turned back over to the town. (There is much less undeveloped land in England than in the U.S.)

One of his latest ideas is to purchase a really large parkland and enable families to have eco-burials (the body wrapped in a shroud that decomposes); families would plant tree seedlings on the burial site instead of having tombstones. The idea is that the body relatively quickly decomposes, but the tree grows. People are buried with computer chips in them, so one can tell who is/was buried where by scanning the earth. Future family members can be buried around that *family tree*. They envision that the family trees might be places for future family gatherings honoring their ancestors. And each family only gets a space for 150 or 200 years, at which point the wood is harvested and turned into high quality furniture that family members can buy. And the park becomes a place that anyone can use for their enjoyment. It’s a really cool idea.  It is really well thought out, long-term vision for how to sustain honoring the dead, not use up too much cemetery space, provide a center for future family get-togethers (i.e. social capital) and reunions and produce wonderful environmental space for others to enjoy.

Personal Legacies: Inspiring from the grave?

Neal Conan, Talk of the Nation, discussed the idea of ethical wills on 5/30/07. “We all know we’re supposed to draw up wills that leave instructions about our worldly goods, but some people want to pass down a less quantifiable legacy as well, a statement of values, of beliefs, family traditions, advice to family, friends or associates, and maybe even resolve old arguments or family secrets. There are documents for those too. They’re called ethical wills or moral trusts.”

One guest called this ethical will a “love letter to your family” (Linda Lipinski of ALegacyToRemember) to bequeath ones values, not one’s valuables.  The name ethical will is misleading because some of the experts suggested sharing this with relatives while one was alive.

Listeners Tanya wisely questioned why if someone lives their life by their moral values and communicates with their children, why do they need to put in writing.  An expert said that it was to ensure that these values passed beyond the next generation, although the examples of ethical wills often seemed more designed to try to leave a paper record of what a person wished they stood for or to put a deceased’s spin on history.

I can certainly see how such an exercise could be useful in the middle school or high school years for students to try to articulate what they want their life to stand for, what they hope their legacy will be, and what values they want to exemplify.  But if one is trying to tell one’s relatives what one’s values are, it’s way too late. Listener Jerry recalled a book by Jack Smith, columnist for the L.A. Times entitled “Spend All Your Kisses”, as a reminder that the time for sharing love or kisses is not from the grave.  And listener Scott noted that others, not you determine one’s legacy.  One can only set a wonderful example and hope that it moves and inspires others.

I highly recommend *Just Enough *by Laura Nash and Howard Stevenson, which focuses on how to live one’s life in accord with one’s hoped-for legacy and how to achieve balance between success and legacy.

In short I believe that one’s actions while alive are much more likely to influence others (friends, children, relatives) than directions or advice put in a will.   And improve one’s communication and ties with one’s relatives while alive so that you can be close and inspire one another; this is likely to have far greater an impact on social capital and on “one’s legacy.”   With luck, if they are inspired, they may ask you to write up some of your values or beliefs and such a requested letter is likely to have far greater influence than when someone decides that they have wisdom that others ought to hear.